Did you already abandon your resolution? GOOD! Let’s talk!
By: Linzy Farmerie
Is it just me or is saying “twenty twenty” out loud that is deeply shocking? The possibilities just seem grander. It is inspiring as well as totally intimidating. So, how can we make the most of this sparkling new saga? Personally, I have canceled making resolutions. Thank u, next!
One thing that has truly embedded itself into my mindset going into this new year is the contrast of resolutions versus intentions- and making that code switch in my brain has been a true game changer! It is no secret, and even has become a bit of a well-known joke that that 50% of resolutions are broken within the first two weeks of a new year. And, by the end of January, a full 95% of resolutions are completely abandoned. And there is totally a reason why. It implies that it is all or nothing.
We are inspired and energized by radical change! It feels empowering to be decisive and a resolution, by definition, is a firm decision to do or not to do something. But the first time we miss that 5 AM *no excuses* gym appointment, a lot of us label ourselves as a lost cause. And the negative self talk is almost immediate - I’m a failure. I will never change. It would have never worked anyway. We were just on top of the world and anything was possible, and just like that, it’s over (all or nothing).
The Bad News: Life is just not black and white.
The Good News: There is so much beauty in the grey.
About 4 years ago, I stopped making resolutions that required me to become the person I “should” be instead of gently addressing the flawed person that I am. That “should” mindset is judgemental, extends shame, guilt, and spurns many negative feelings. Put simply, the word “should” is just not an effective motivator. We need to delete it from self-talk, period.
So, instead, I’ve started my year with an intention, which implies a purpose and a process. I love that last word: Process. I find so much peace in it! You know why? Because processes take time. No overnight changes or pressure. I can mess up, I can re-do a step, and I can learn as I go. It is kinder to my heart and my head and tells me that I don’t have to have it all figured out.
A great way to set an intention is to “name your year.” But where do you begin? Hint: Do not pick up a baby name book… Instead, take this example scenario:
Step 1: Ask yourself, what is the end game?
Measurable Goal: I want to lose 50 lbs.
Step 2: Dig deeper. Why is it meaningful to you? Usually, this plucks at your heartstrings.
The Big Why: I want to lose weight because I want to ward off illness and to feel confident in my skin.
Step 3: Identify categories and meditate on them.
Focus: My ‘big why’ addresses both overall wellness and self esteem.
Step 4: Google, google, google!
Research: Look up some words that are associated with regaining health and self esteem. Do any overlap? Do any of them inspire you? Any significant/spiritual/cultural meanings? Break out the thesaurus and explore!
Step 5: Cover your life in it!
#inspo: You’ve found your word: Nurture (verb) to care for and encourage the growth or development of. Now, go find an inspirational quote that contains it! Find poems, photos, things that remind you of it. Set your wallpaper, phone background, put a post it in your car, at your desk, and write it on your mirror in dry erase marker. Take up journaling and set alarms on your phone or calendar to continuously check in on your intention.Bonus step: Share your intention and journey with friends and on social media (it’s also a great way of logging and tracking your growth too!)
Five is such a great number to simplify this into, huh? But guess what? I am not perfect. So, there is a secret sixth step… So here it is: Accept the fact that this intention might not fit into the box of a calendar year. I’ve had intentions that apply to a few weeks of my life and I have had some that apply to a little over 52 weeks. Life comes in seasons for all things, so let your intentions grow with you, not limit you. Remember, every day you have a choice to grow through what you go through. Take your time, learn from your mistakes, thank yourself for your efforts and get back up. You’ve got this!
Based in Pittsburgh PA, Linzy Farmerie-Mogielski has battled high functioning anxiety and clinical depression for most of her adult life and has found life-changing freedom and community in breaking stigmas. As an advocate for change, she speaks at events encouraging others to seek appropriate care and practice radical self-love. Through sharing her story, her superpowers have become approachability, vulnerability, and transparency! In addition to mental health, she is passionate about ministry, travel, art, and coffee! Linzy is also a member of the BroglieBox team and is a content editor for the BroglieBlog.